New Year Traditions In Nigeria That Really Should Be Trashed

I really do not have any energy left in me to create new year wishes for anyone at this point. Just “Happy New Year”, and then “Thanks. Same wishes” is very okay.

Going to Church On The First Day Of The January When You Only Just Got Home From The Cross Over Night: There’s this church beside my house that has made me conclude that this tradition is really unnecessary. I just got back from the Crossover night, so why don’t you allow me sleep away the sleepiness in my eyes after the Tarry? We Christians all opened our churches on 31st of December night to thank God for the past year and even the new year and spoke some declarations on how we want the new year to be like. We stayed till the first day of the year to really confirm that we have entered the New Year, so why go to church again just as day breaks on same day after dismissing just after midnight? You thanked God, he’s not deaf, allow us to sleep please. And as for the new dresses, you can always showcase them on the first Sunday of the year, since the Christmas wear wasn’t enough.

Forwarding Broadcast or Bulk SMS Of Same Good Wishes That You Have Sent To Many Other Contacts On Your List: Abeg let this thing stop already. I don’t think I want to waste my airtime, data, or energy on a new year day replying to messages that I obviously know weren’t specially written for me. I’ll pass, please rest dear.

New Year Messages Shouldn’t Be A Routine But Genuine Wishes Sent To Few Really Loved Ones: In all honesty, I don’t think I like all those plenty messages from random strangers pending my own equally personal response. Just wishing us all a happy new year via a post, on your wall through your social media handles is enough, I’ll do the same; we all do the same. We’ll choose to reply in the comment section if we receive it. Do not impose that relationship and indebtedness on me please. Let me worry about how to survive the financial strain after the Detty December.

Visiting People On A New Year Day Is Totally Unacceptable: No, no, no, please don’t come to my house. It’s a day for thanksgiving, reflection and strategizing. Don’t come and use your reggae to spoil my blues; T for Thanks.

If You Have Already Called To Give Your New Year Wishes, Sending Texts Afterwards Is Unnecessary: Well, unless you are le boo, then you should send me 100 SMSes praying for me, appreciating my importance and talking new plans and of course 200 calls to go, so we keep up with each other’s new year life and plans. Don’t even give me that look! It’s even a tactic to avoid other calls from side distractions. What’s a better way to send sidekicks packing and keep bae all to yourself?

Cooking Rice And Chicken Is Compulsory And Should Be Maintained! Never Give An Excuse To Not Deliver This Particular Tradition. It Can Never Be Changed! Preferably, Make it Nigerian Jellof! Don’t Look At Me Like That; I Can Tell You What And What’s Not To Be Left Of Our New Year Tradition.

Now that you know this, I hope you avoid the urge to be a pest in someone’s life this new year. Allow people to breathe! The Post-Covid years have been tough enough for all these troubles. You can thank me, I’m always at your service!

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