How to Appear Confident and Attractive even when You don’t Feel It.

No, I am not about “don’t fidget, looking one straight in the eye, self-affirmations” and all that.

Confidence is not only a thing of the mind but our physical appearance. Some people don’t know how to appear confident and attractive and it has nothing to do with inferiority complex.

Sometimes it could be that they always find themselves under-dressed or over-dressed for an occasion, and can’t seem to find a balance. Or just don’t feel confident enough and so they feel they would rather not dress that part either. There are the ones who are not even confident enough to appear in outfits that make them look confident. And these ones who feel “well, I can’t do this, I don’t know how to dress. What if I’m found out, what if they know that I am faking this?” No, your are not.

Looking good at all times is never anything to feel weird about. It is not faking an image. It is just a simple proper appearance, as it should be. You can actually appear confident and smart without doing too much or too less. You need to find out how to appear confident and attractive even when you don’t feel it.

Anytime I talk about drip now, I get the eye roll and am advised to focus. Many years down the line, with so much focus, I have still not had anything to my name. So, this is more like a battle that I’ve lost. I mean my focus without care for appearance hasn’t yielded much, and time, they say, waits for no man. Now, I have decided that appearance is just as important as the focus on career, work, and giving value.

The presence of one should not exclude the other, even if most times, people feel it does or should.

Note: Drip, as used here, means looking good, prim and proper always, just like the popular street saying “Never to be caught unfresh”

I mean I am done with the advice to focus on “what matters” and leave frivolities and vanities when my default persona is vain. No, I am not saying one must channel all her energy into looking good, I am saying that we should not be advised to appear unkempt, in the name of focus, religion, or confidence. I know you have internal confidence, but that does not mean you should not look prim. Add some extra spice, extra is always good sometimes, if not always.

No, I am not about “don’t fidget, looking one straight in the eye, self-affirmations” and all that, that’s a talk for another day.

My focus here is on the physical. The first thing anyone takes in is your appearance before they even engage you. “When they get to know me, they will adjust and understand that I am valuable.” Excuse me, can you wake up from that dream already? Sometimes they won’t give you that chance, and even if they do, a part of them will subconsciously take you as that person who just happened to be valuable but whose worth should not be so much. Did you get that? They will underpay or underestimate you even with your value. And this is why you should know how to appear confident and attractive always.

I would say ‘fake it, till you make it” but no, just simply do your best to look it, and be it. You don’t have to borrow or run into debts, but simply just prioritize your appearance amongst under things and find a balance.

Now, this is getting long, let’s get right on it and I hope to keep this brief and interesting and have you on this journey to how to appear confident and attractive at all times!

  • Your Budget should always include Drip Expenses

Yes, you read that correctly. I meant ‘always’. Never budget or plan your expenditure without including the option for clothes, pieces of jewelry, shoes, spa, nails, scents, and whatever you will be needing on this journey.

  •  Plan what you would be Needing Per Time and then go ahead to Get It.

Since we are working on a budget here, this is not the time to get those clothes, shoes, and bags, at once. So here is what you do, from your budget, figure out what you will be needing most and get that first, wait for the next income budget, and acquire the next, and next, and more. That way, you will move from getting all your basics to saving to acquire the luxuries.

  • Trash the Pieces of Clothing that are not up to the New Image you are Projecting.

You do not want to be looking like you belong on the streets, then trash the street wears. You don’t want to look like you are stressed always, dispose of those worn and dull-colored wears. Don’t keep them in sight, so that you don’t get tempted to try them out again. You can move them to the part of your closet set for “home wears”.

  • Wear Outfits with Great Colors

Do not look too loud or too dull, find a color balance while picking your outfits. You don’t want to be looking too loud or too sad. Just be proper, and appropriate, it will make you appear confident even when you don’t feel it. Colors have a way of passing messages and affecting the way people feel about us, in their heads. I may not take someone with too many loud colors seriously and someone with dull wear can easily be waved away. Find a balance. Whatever pieces of outfits you are wearing, find the colors that accentuate your complexion, this is a very important key to how to appear confident and attractive anywhere.

  • Wear Pieces of Jewelry and Accessories

Plan a collection of jewelry to suit every outfit you wear. Jewelry has a way of making us appear confident. I know you don’t like them, just like me, but they are very necessary. “can’t I do the rest and leave this?” Well, no. create the habit, begin the collection journey. Shades and glasses are not bad for some outfits, have them in your collection.

  • Always Look Up Outfit Inspiration from other Sources

You can’t know it all. Pay attention to the way other people dress, especially that person whose appearance, you always admire. Follow fashion blogs, vlogs, and social media handles. Your fashion sense will not always do it. You need external forces to grow your fashion sense and of course, to add more layers of confidence to the existing ones.

  • Pay Attention to your Skin and Makeup

If you must wear makeup, I am talking about regular, DIY makeup here, please use good products and make it as simple, and natural as possible, while looking all classy and chic. Yes, that is not too much to ask for. Avoid those oily greases that don’t even match your skin tone or run down your neck to your dress when you sweat. Avoid heavy makeup as well.

A good skincare routine is always advised. Especially facials. You need it. You need healthy skin to appear confident while rocking those chic outfits. Get yourself good products and skincare therapists to guide you. We are in the era where your skin speaks volumes now.

  • Wear Good Scents always

Invest in classy scents. You need it. It ups your confidence game, a hundred 100 times. Wear deodorants, body sprays, and perfumes. Do you know that one good scent, will save you cost even more than those many cheap trashy things you get? While also giving you even more confidence anytime you step into a place.

  • Hairs and Nails

I can’t emphasize their importance to how to appear confident and attractive, enough. Don’t wear those amazing outfits to be caught with chipped nails. Please always renew your nail polish as often as possible or if you like to go natural, have it trimmed and kept neat always. Avoid wearing tacky or trashy nails. Leave your nails at an appropriate length and don’t use too many bright colors. Nudes and mild colors are always preferable and confident.

Never leave your hair unkempt or unmade. You don’t necessarily need extra expensive hairs that are above your budget. You can always go for simple hairs that look good on you and your budget. Just don’t leave that hair unmade or unkempt. Invest in wearing good hairs and having healthy hair. If you must get wigs, please avoid sponges, leave that for the streets, thank you!

  • Good Shoes and Bags

These are part of the outfits. Save up for good shoes and bags not necessarily designers. But buy good shoes and bags, please. People look at your shoes and bag and rate you. If you are having just two shoes at that time, I mean if two shoes and three bags are all you have in your collection, it is fine, but just make sure they are made of good stuff.

Final Thoughts

I have a confession; I am guilty of so many things I have listed here. I must have said that already. before now, I had barely thought of how to appear confident and attractive to people. But we can get on to stepping up our appearance game to promote our confidence, better. Taking care of appearance is one way to leave our confidence on steroids. People begin to pay attention to what you have to say, as soon as you clear your throat. And girl! You begin to make classy friends easily, just by taking care of your appearance.

It doesn’t have to cost too much, it only needs your attention and prioritizing appearance, regardless of your net worth at the time. Let your appearance not begin to snitch on your financial or emotional status before you even open your mouth to talk about it.

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