You know, it’s really a cool thing to bambam and chill with the big boys. If you have not done so already, I know you’ve been dreaming it. And if you did so, but the thing did not go well, as in you later ran kitikiti and ran katakata and now you no fit drop water drop cup, then you were wrong! No, I’m not judging you, that’s why I’m here to help.

First, you have to know that these big boys are in types. Na you know wetin you go follow go chill with. Secondly, you have to know that no be every big boy be big boy for real. 

So I’m definitely not talking about your regular yahoo boys with dreads and skinny jeans, unless your legit big boy decides to go like this, for example, Otedola says “look here, I’m a baby boy so amma just wear the dreads and some skin-tight jeans”, then you know that this particular big boy can not be judged.

I digress, so you want to chill with the big boys? Ones that will allow you to drink water and drop cup? Here’s how to chill with the big boys:

HAVE SENSE

Do you know when to cower and be a little bit naive and maybe stupid and when to come on strong, bold, and confident? Now that’s sense! A perfect blend of both at the appropriate time is the key. 

KNOW AND HOLD CONVERSATIONS ON TECH, STOCK AND CRYPTOCURRENCY

I hope you know the future is tech and the future is now. So you’d better know a bit about crypto and fintech. Talk money. What’s your investment plan and goal? You’d better do good research on crypto and stocks and finance. This is how to hold conversations with the big boys. 

NEVER APPEAR TOO POOR/IGNORANT

If you like, go and act like the needy so that the big boys can pity you. I’m sorry bro, they will avoid you. Packaging is good. I didn’t say you should lie but you can package your poverty well.

Tell neutral stories; one that doesn’t expose the lack or boast about what doesn’t exist. Be honest but don’t tell all of the ugly sides. Don’t dress, think or talk like your ugly side. You are human, see yourself as human first, rich or poor. 

And as for Ignorance, oh yes, that! Know a little bit about everything and every sector. Let’s not talk foods and you go “ugh, oh, what’s that? Is it a country?” Or do you also want to tell me that you don’t know how to handle a microwave or the washing machine? You’d better learn. And yes, add eating with your complete cutlery set to the list.

KNOW ABOUT DOGS AND PETS

I’m sorry if you don’t know dog breeds like me or about other pets because that means your chilling with the big boys might get a little bit strained. Work on this immediately! Even if you don’t like them or the last time you had a pet was in Nursery 2, please get yourself to fancy or pretend to fancy dogs or other pets but the emphasis on dogs, please. Don’t forget to know their breeds. Never forget. 

HAVE MONEY

This is an easy way to chill with the big boys. Become a big boy or girl yourself. You’ll be saved a lot of stress. So how do you make money? Learn about investments and savings. Learn and master skills, preferably digital/tech skills; invest in them and master them. Apply your skills. Get a job as well. Work hard and smart. Be consistent. Invest in securities.

It may not come fast or easy but you’ll get there, this is certain. Unless you are greedy and want quick money? Then you’ll run kitikiti and you no go fit drink water drop cup, ever!

GO TO SCHOOL

If you like, let them deceive you that formal education is a waste of time. There are places and people you can’t access with so much confidence unless you work so very hard to access there, but you would have done it more easily if you’d gone to school.

Why do rich people still struggle to buy certificates or go to school? Why do rich illiterates go “is it because you have gone to school? Do you know who I am?” No, you don’t need to tell us or ask us to know who you are, you are suffering from an inferiority complex, so lower your voice.

There’s another form of development that happens while schooling, not just the formal education. Laslas school no be scam.

SEND YOUR CHILDREN TO GOOD AND BIG SCHOOLS

This is if you have grown past ever chilling with the big boys, like your fate has already been decided. You have finished looking at your life, and you have come to the conclusion that e no fit be.

People who tell you “public schools teach better than some of these private schools” aren’t aware of what’s going on. So now that you were not able to chill with the big boys in your time, you should give your children the opportunity to do so. Send them to big schools, let them learn the lifestyle and build useful relationships for future connection. 

GO TO LOCATIONS WHERE BIG BOYS ARE

It would do you a lot of good to position yourself in places you are sure to find big boys. And please look like a big boy yourself. If you can afford a flight instead of that road trip, why not? You can get a business class flight ticket instead of the economy class? Then better.

This is how to meet and subsequently chill with the big boys. No be everytime you go dey pass from the church, to the house, and then the office; pause, repeat, and the cycle continues. Go to fun places, go on a date, go out by yourself and please dress that part, dress to fit into the environment.

Now you are ready to chill with the big boys!

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