1. An artist got into a time machine. He pushed the control panel to go back to the Old West, 1850. When he got there, he opened the machine’s door. He didn’t live after he got there since an outlaw saw how weird he dressed and challenged him to a gun fight. When the villain said, “Draw!” the artist pulled out his sketch pad and pencil.
2. Bill and Susan, couple of college kids used to meet secretly every night at a barn. This went on for years. You could say their relationship was… “stable”.
3. In 1970, a father sat down with his son to talk. The father talked with him about the “birds and the bees”. But the talk was interrupted when the son got a call from US Army recruitment, telling him that the army corps wanted him to go immediately to a Ft. Bliss in Texas by tomorrow. Five years passed and the son went on to college and graduated Magna Cum Laude in four years. He got married and had several kids. Before that, he started work at a fine investment firm in New York City. It wasn’t until the year 2000, he came back to his parent’s house. He saw his father and asked him, “You remember before you left home to join the army, we never finished talking about the “birds and the bees.” “I thought we’d pick where we left off… “
4. A chemistry teacher was invited into a classroom full of middle schoolers. He asked them to go outside where he showed them some interesting reactions between products like soda pop, toothpaste and Mentos breath fresheners. The reactions were incredible foam of all different colors. He told the class to go home and find safe products that when combined would make interesting and fun reactions like the one he made today. The next day, kids brought soda pop and baking soda which created a volcanic foam. Another found a creative way to make a banana blow up with firecrackers. The only kid left spoke very little. He said, he went to the nuclear reaction plant where his father worked and pulled out a cellphone and told his dad to “set it off”. “Mine is a nuclear explosion.” Before everyone stopped laughing at him, within seconds, there was an explosion so fiery that it burned the city and the school up.
5. If you’ve seen the movie, “Rudy” about a college kid who is obsessed with Notre Dame” football, and goes to great links to play for them, you’ll love the spoof called “Ruddy” where a kid who is obsessed with playing football for Vanderbilt University.
6. So a teenage boy and his older sister are in the attic looking for old furniture. After they find what they are looking for, the sister tells her brother to “flip off that light.” So, he raises his hand and extends the middle finger at the switch.
By Harrington A. Lackey